It’s a rainy autumn day in Bucharest, one of those that make you think about leaving. And for me, departure is imminent. I’ve made a major decision, one that fills me with both nerves and a sense of freedom: I’m emigrating from Romania. The destination? Paris, the City of Lights. Or, who knows, maybe also of the Illuminati, as I like to joke, rolling my eyes at old conspiracy theories. It’s the city where a revolution began… and I feel it’s time for a personal revolution for me too.
Sadly, it’s true, Romania seems to have become a country everyone is leaving. You get the feeling there are no more prospects, that no matter how hard you struggle, you hit an invisible wall. The ’90s, with their rampant inflation and chaotic transition, seem to have ruined everything some tried to build. The traumas of communism are still among us, hidden deep, and you feel them in every aspect of society. The air is heavy, full of frustration and a kind of resignation.
A Scholarship, a Departure, an Unknown Path
I landed a scholarship in Paris, I can barely believe it. It’s a huge chance. I’ve never left the country before, and now I’ll be going alone. I’m aware that a huge challenge awaits me. I don’t know if I’ll manage, if I’ll cope, if I’ll fit in. But I feel it’s the step I have to take. Part of me is terrified, another part… is excited by the unknown.
I desperately wished my girlfriend could come with me. We talked a lot about it, we dreamed about what it would be like. However, she doesn’t know French at all, and that’s a huge barrier to quick integration. Besides, plane tickets are incredibly expensive, especially now, and we simply don’t have the money for both of us. It pains my soul to leave someone dear behind, but I hope we find a way. Maybe in a few months, things will settle, and she’ll be able to join me.
It’s a decision I’ve thought about a lot, especially now that I’ve started exploring other truths, feeling that the world is far more complex than it seems. Perhaps it’s a necessary step to better understand life or to find the answers to the questions that torment me.
I’ll end here, with a quote that I feel perfectly defines this moment:
At 20… carefree and penniless.